There are moments as a mother that stick with you forever. They are the ones that make you smile every time you think about them. One of those moments for me? The day my oldest son became a member of the Divine Nine.
The Journey to That Moment
Looking back, my son’s educational journey was diverse, to say the least. He started out at a Montessori school until kindergarten. Then, he spent the next few years at a predominantly Black magnet school. But from 4th grade through high school, he attended a mostly white school. When it came time for college, I had my heart set on him attending an HBCU. I wanted him to experience the culture, the history, the community—the things that his earlier school years hadn’t given him. But my son? He had his own plan. He wanted to go where he could get the most scholarship money. As a mom, I understood. But as a Black mother, I secretly wished for more.
He ended up at a university with a mix of students. Some students looked like him, while others didn’t. There was even a strong presence of international students. It wasn’t an HBCU, but it was a start. Later, he transferred to another university within the state, and that’s where he finally found his people. More connections. More friendships with those who shared his experiences. It wasn’t exactly what I had envisioned, but it was enough.
“What’s a Fraternity?”
I remember when my son was in 11th grade. I casually asked him if he had ever considered joining a fraternity. His response? “What’s a fraternity?” My heart sank. How did my son not know what a fraternity was? I felt like I had failed him. I thought more about it. Then I realized he had spent most of his school years with people who weren’t in Black Greek life. It wasn’t something he had been exposed to.
When he started college, I asked him about it again. And again. And again. Each time, his answer was the same: “I don’t have time because of track and my class load.” I was disappointed, but eventually, I let it go. If he wasn’t interested, I couldn’t force it.
And then, out of nowhere, one day he casually said, “Mom, I’m going to join a fraternity.”
I barely reacted. “Whatever,” I said, thinking he was joking.
He said it again. I paused mid-sentence. “Don’t play with me. Are you serious?”
And just like that, it was happening!
Probate Night: A Family Affair
Once his probate date was confirmed—Sunday, November 10, 2024—the planning began. His father and I started buying paraphernalia.
I took off work that Monday, knowing I would need a day to soak it all in. His brother and sister? Either absent from school or arriving late. This was a family celebration, and we were showing up in full support.
That night was unforgettable. Seeing my son cross, watching the pride on his face—it was a moment I’ll always cherish. To view his probate video, watch the YouTube video.
He has experienced his first Founder’s Day.
He also attended his first district conference. When he came home for Thanksgiving, he and I went shopping at Michael’s. I wanted to put his probate vest in a frame.
We created a TikTok video that has gone viral!
He is fully immersed in his fraternity and everything it represents.
I’m all about capturing the moments of my children. One day, my son will have children. If he has a son, I’m sure his son will also become an Alpha man. Now, when he and I talk, I can hear the grown-up man in his voice. It’s different from the grown-up man I heard before he became an Alpha man. I can’t wait to see how he continues to grow.
Looking Ahead
I don’t know if my other two children will attend an HBCU or become members of the Divine Nine. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. But I have a feeling—an instinct only a mother has—that they might. My daughter? I have a guess about which sorority she’d lean toward. My younger son? That one is a mystery. But I have a guess. I think he will follow in his older brother’s footsteps as an Alpha.
No matter what they choose, I’ll be proud. At the end of the day, it’s about finding where you belong. It’s about embracing your community. It’s also about carrying forward a legacy of excellence. And my son? He’s done just that.
Oh, and I forgot to mention. Shortly after he became a member of his fraternity, he was voted in as the Vice President. Talk about upward mobility right out the gate! I even have one of his pictures saved on my phone under his contact information. I have impressed upon him that he defines how he will be an Alpha man. He should not let being an Alpha define him. Who he is goes beyond a member of the Divine Nine. His upbringing has shaped him. God’s destiny for him exceeds that identity.
