As I drink from my own Stanley Cup, I realize something. Parenting a teenager is like holding a mirror up to yourself. You begin to realize, “Wow… I really do act like that sometimes.”
My 14-year-old daughter and I are more alike than I care to admit. When she doesn’t get what she wants, she gets in her feelings. She pouts. She withdraws. And honestly? Same, girl. Same. But here’s the thing—I understand where she’s coming from. Still, it’s part of my job as her mother to teach her that life doesn’t always give you what you want. And that’s okay.
The Stanley Cup Saga
If you have a teenager, you already know that the Stanley cup craze is real. My daughter had been asking for one for a while. Each costs $45. I wasn’t rushing to buy it. So when I unwrapped a Stanley cup as a Christmas gift, I didn’t even know what it was at first. My daughter’s face instantly dropped.
She wanted one. I had one. And she didn’t.
Cue the frustration, the disappointment, and the low-key attitude shift.
Fast forward to Valentine’s Day, and I decided to surprise her with one. Not just the cup, but a whole self-care basket—money tucked inside, a new face scrubber, and all the things she loves. The plan was solid. The execution? Not so much.
Amazon, in all its efficiency, delivered the Stanley cup in the actual Stanley-branded box instead of an Amazon box. (Amazon, why do you hate surprises?) My daughter saw it, snapped a picture, and sent it to me. She even called her dad about it before I could get home.
When she confronted me, I told her no—it wasn’t for her. I lied. And she was mad.
When Disappointment Turns Into Drama
Now, let me be clear. Her reaction wasn’t just a little eye-roll moment. She was really upset. Raising her voice, getting emotional, and genuinely feeling hurt. And I get it. From her 14-year-old perspective, it felt unfair. Why would I complain about the price of the cup and then turn around and buy it for someone else? Fair question.
She carried that frustration into the next day. When my husband came home and asked her what was wrong, she told him, “Go ask your wife.”
Excuse me?
That little comment right there tested every ounce of my patience. I wanted to be petty. I wanted to sit out of the mandatory parent meeting she wanted me to attend, just to prove a point. But I didn’t, because at the end of the day, I’m raising her to be better.
The Talk That Had to Happen
We didn’t sit down and talk until Friday. When we finally did, I listened. She explained why she was really upset, and I saw her point. Her emotions weren’t wrong, but how she handled them needed some work.
I reminded her that there has never been a time when she’s asked for something and not eventually received it. But I also needed her to understand. You’re not always going to get what you want when you want it. And when you don’t, being upset won’t change it.
I told her straight up:
- Being mad won’t make it materialize.
- Pouting won’t bring it to fruition.
- Having an attitude won’t get you what you want.
I explained that in life, you have to learn how to handle disappointment with grace. Because sometimes, acting out in frustration will do nothing but block your own blessings.
She heard me. She apologized. And I apologized too—for not being truthful in the moment when she asked about the cup.
Afterwards, we went to my son’s basketball game — it was Friday. Upon our return home, I gave her the exact Stanley Cup she wanted and said, “Happy Valentine’s Day!”
The Bigger Lesson in Parenting
Parenting isn’t about making our kids happy all the time—it’s about preparing them for the real world. And the real world doesn’t hand out participation trophies every time you want something.
Our kids need to learn how to process their feelings. They must deal with disappointment. It’s essential they keep moving forward without letting temporary frustration define their reactions.
I understand your situation if you’re a mom dealing with a daughter (or son). They may get upset when they don’t get what they want. It’s hard. It’s frustrating. It’s a test of patience. But it’s also one of the most important lessons we can teach them.
Final Thoughts
Raising a teenager isn’t for the weak. But every situation, even a Stanley cup meltdown, is an opportunity to teach them about life. Stay patient, stay firm, and most of all—stay honest. Because if we don’t prepare them for life’s inevitable disappointments now, who will?
How did you handle a situation where your child got upset over something they couldn’t have? Share your story in the comments—I’d love to hear from you!
