Setting: June, 2023 — my husband and I celebrated 20 years of marriage. I couldn’t help but think about the journey we’ve been on. In today’s world, long marriages sometimes feel like an endangered species. Reaching this milestone is something we are proud of. People often say we make marriage look easy. Let me tell you, our love story could fill the pages of a New York Times bestseller!
Our love story started long before marriage. It began with a glance, an unexplainable connection, and a moment that would unknowingly set the foundation of our lives. We first “met” at a concert. I was with someone else. I saw my husband leaning against a wall. His hands were in his pockets, and one leg was propped up. In that moment, it seemed as if time stopped. Our eyes locked, and in that moment, I forgot everything else around me. I didn’t know it at the time, but that brief moment would change my life forever.
Fast forward a year later, and fate brought us back together in a summer school college class. The first time I saw him walk in, I turned to my friend and said, “That’s my husband.” My friend thought I was joking, but deep down, I was serious! I didn’t even realize he was the same guy from the concert until much later. Over the next few days, he borrowed pens from me. He always made sure I got them back. It was a smooth move, looking back. Soon after, we were talking, laughing, and sharing moments that eventually began the start of us.
By the summer of 1996, our love story was in full bloom and we were inseparable. We spent every single day together. I even moved in with my dad and his girlfriend just so I could see him more often. And that was it—our love story had begun.
Navigating the Ups and Downs
Over the years, our love story has been anything but ordinary. We’ve experienced life in all its colors—the good, the bad, and everything in between. There have been moments of joy and celebration. These include the births of our children. There were also moments of sadness and struggle. They could have easily broken us. We’ve been through challenges that many couples wouldn’t survive, but through it all, we’ve always chosen each other.
Marriage isn’t perfect—it never will be. But that’s what makes our love story so special. It’s real. It’s filled with moments of learning, evolving, and embracing the imperfections that make us who we are. We’ve learned to grow together, evolve, and embrace the fact that we’re both imperfect people striving to build something beautiful. One thing we don’t strive for is perfection because, honestly, it doesn’t exist. Instead, we focus on becoming the best versions of ourselves, both individually and as a team.
What Keeps the Spark Alive
People often ask how we’ve kept the spark alive after all these years. For us, it’s about the little things. We text or call throughout the day. We find ways to support each other in the areas we don’t enjoy. He handles the grocery orders, and I pick them up. We also share responsibilities like laundry—yes, even laundry. I sort and wash; he folds and puts away (except towels, those are mine). It’s these acts of care that make our relationship feel like a partnership.
Our love story is about connection and this is something we prioritize! We greet each other with a hug and a kiss every morning and every evening. It might seem small, yet, it’s our way of grounding ourselves in love. We do this no matter what type of day we’ve had. We give each other space to decompress after work. We’ve learned that sometimes the best way to love your partner is to let them breathe.
And let’s not forget communication. When we’re upset, we give each other time to cool down before coming back together to talk. We don’t involve anyone else in our disagreements—no friends, no family, just us. Our marriage is our story, and we’re the only ones who know the whole plot.
The Role of Prayer and Therapy in Our Love Story
A strong love story is built on a solid foundation, and for us, that foundation includes both prayer and therapy. Prayer keeps us spiritually connected.
Therapy has helped us navigate the tougher chapters of our love story. It has improved our love language, our connections, and communication. There’s no shame in asking for help when you need it. In fact, I believe it’s one of the reasons we’ve made it this far.
Both have been instrumental in helping us grow closer. They’re not substitutes for each other—they’re tools we use to strengthen our marriage in different ways.
Doing What Works for Us
The biggest lesson we’ve learned over the years is this: every marriage is different. What works for one couple might not work for another. We don’t depend on each other for happiness because that’s something we’re responsible for as individuals. Instead, we take care of each other in ways that feel natural to us.
Marriage isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being present. It’s about choosing your partner every single day, even when it’s hard. For us, that choice has been the foundation of our 28-year love story. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
If you’re married, engaged, or just dreaming of your future love story, my advice is simple. Find what works for you. Love each other fiercely, communicate often, and never stop growing—together.
Tools to Strengthen Your Marriage
These are the tools my husband and I have used to keep our bond strong! Click below to shop!
- Fun Couple’s Games: Bring laughter and meaningful conversation into your evening with games like The Ultimate Game for Couples. It’s perfect for breaking the routine and reconnecting.
- Luxurious Throw Blanket: snuggle up for movie night or intimate conversation
- Spa Night Essentials: There’s nothing like winding down with the one you love. Get some bath salts and aromatherapy massage oils and pamper each other.
- Aromatherapy Diffuser: Set a calming mood so the two of you can relax and rejuvenate.
- Gratitude Journal: keep a shared journal where each of you writes one sentence daily about something you’re grateful for.
Ready to Nourish Your Connection?
Life can get very busy. Between work, kids, and everything else, it’s easy to let those intentional moments with your partner fall by the wayside. But relationships thrive when you make small, purposeful efforts to nurture them. Every action adds up to something meaningful. By organizing your routines, you make time for each other. You also find joy in the little things.
That’s why I’ve shared these tools and ideas to help you Nourish your connection:
- Nurture your bond with simple date night ideas.
- Organize your time together with practical tools.
- Show Understanding by giving space for self-care.
- Strengthen your Relationships through intentional activities.
- Add Intentionality to your day with quick connection tools.
- Embrace Simplicity in ways to spend time together.
- Create a warm and loving Home where connection thrives.
Click the links above to shop my handpicked favorites for busy couples and start building more intentional moments today.
Which of these ideas are you excited to try? Or do you have your own go-to ways of keeping the spark alive? Share your thoughts in the comments below about that, your love story, and marriage longevity! Remember to cherish what matters most. Make time for love, laughter, and connection in our busy lives.
